Music For Car Phone Subscribers

From the notes: MUSIC FOR CAR PHONE SUBSCRIBERS Conglomerate Records' timesaving new sampler specifically designed for the busy young professional by the geniuses at Pointless Endeavours. This cassette represents a unique concept in new music samplers. Instead of compiling a few random selections or several dozen incomprehensible snippets, MFCPS brings you 8 complete albums in one! Now, thanks to the miracle of modern multitrack recording, you can rack up 80 miles in the Volvo, close that big deal on your cellular phone and listen to 8 new albums all in one hour or less! Here's how we do it: Each side of the tape contains 4 complete albums. All A sides are heard in the normal direction; all B sides in reverse. Albums are located at 60 degree intervals in the stereo image, with #1 on the far left and #4 at the far right. (Placements do not necessarily symbolize the political stances of the artists.) To save you further time we have increased the recording speed up to 20%, depending on the length of the album involved. So strap on your seat belt, hang the no smoking sign and jam that receiver in your ear! Crank up the old tape deck and test your listening prowess! You'll soon discover why Conglomerate has become the first name in cost effectiveness. ---- Label on tape reads: MUSIC FOR DILDOES [sic]