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311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron - The Video

Infernal Legions Of Mordor · 2026

Лейбл	Left Hand Path Tapes
Каталожный №	LHP-069
Формат	VHS, Альбом, Лимитированное издание
Дата выпуска	2026-03-11
Страна	США
Жанр	Электроника, Рок, Не музыка
Стиль	Noisecore, Дэт-метал, Harsh Noise Wall, Comedy

Треклист

	Introduction: The Disgusting Stench Of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared To Be Catapulted Into The Castle As The Siege Commences
	I Own Guns to Protect Myself from Code Orange Fans
	Q Did 3/11
	I'm Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich
	Dfw Metal Mayhem Is Mad I Made Fun Of D&D, So I'm Gonna Do It Again (D&D Is Dumb)
	The Fountain Is A Really, Really, Really Bad Movie
	Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women And Everyone Ignores It So They Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs
	My Favorite Part Of Punk Is The Only Time I Hear From My "Friends" Is When They Want Something From Me
	God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers!
	Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage Is Going To Come To Texas And Fight Me
	How Can I Be A Narcissist When I Look Like This
	I Asked If My T-bell Diarrhea Sounded Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals, When It Was Closer To Demilich Vocals
	Balding And Fucked
	My Life Hasn't Been The Same Since I Got A Gandalf Hat
	I'm Gonna Fight Gene Simmons
	This Years Tornado Season Will Be The Midwest's Punishment For Egg Punk
	Sacrifice Lumpy If You Want To Avert This
	Take The Time By Dream Theater
	My Dangly Earring Is A Personality Trait Right?
	What Is This Venue's Sword Policy?
	Dallas Metal Dudes And Their Collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin' Like A Big Fella)
	Face It, You're In An Egg Punk Band
	If I Wanted An Angry Italian Man To Yell At Me, I Would Go To A Sub Shop Instead Of The Hank Wood Show
	Where Does Target Keep Their Noise Tables?
	Punk Time Is Dead And It Is Buried In My Back Yard
	Being Gaslit For My Hatred Of Raising Caines
	Goatmoon Is Just Racist Wintersun
	Opeth Is What Would Happen If You Made A Heavy Metal Harry Potter And Also Bad
	Unprecedented Levels Of Dipshittery
	Infernal Legions Of Mordor, The Pawn Stars Of Noisecore
	I'm Gonna Fight Jimmy From Youtube
	Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque By Mortician Is Work Appropriate, Right?
	I Payed A Guy At A Ren Faire To Roast My Hobbit And Now My Hobbit Won't Go To The Ren Faire
	Support Local Business, Especially When They Allow Me To Bring My Sword In
	That Guy From Blood Incantation Looks Like A Scifi Writer Driven Insane By The World He's Created
	How Many Times Will Bone Sickness Follow And Unfollow Me On Instagram
	My Combat Alchemist In The Parking Lot Of An Egg Punk Fest Expelling A Bad Potion
	Dallas Grindcore People Telling Us We Need To Play A Longer Set
	That Feel When James LeBrie Say "Carpe Diem, Seize The Day"
	Razorbumps Is A Rockabilly Band, Prove Me Wrong
	Hey, The Firefly Jayne Replica Hat Stays On During Sex Okay???
	Ending Friendships Over Catan Trade Embargoes
	I'm Into Cynic And Atheist So You Could Say I'm A Bit Of A Jazz Fan
	Rick And Morty Shirts Are The New Fedora
	Hot Boxing Your Straightedge Friend With CBD
	Only Two Whole Years Until The Next Season Of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well)
	Writing Off A Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship As A "Business Expense" On My Taxes
	Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make Has To Be A Song Title, And That's The Song Title
	Straightedge Noisecore War Commando
	Kommand Was Better When They Were Called Hoax
	I Now Play This Card To Retain My Virginity
	Mountain Dew Where Is My Sponsorship
	Shitposting Songtitles From This LP On Facebook When I'm On The Clock At Work
	Without Hesitation I Will Punish You About How And Why You Should Be Watching Venture Bros
	"Walk This Way" Is The Worst Fucking Song
	A.M.A.S. (All Men Are Simps)
	My Friend Ryan's Mullet
	Hell Yeah Bruther
	Who's The Bigger Nerds, Us Or Vault Dweller?
	Going To Ye Olde Pub Instead Of Watching The Bad Local Metalcore Band
	Bald Larry Got License Plates That Say "Senpai"
	Dystopia Is Skramz For Crusties
	I'm Gonna Whup Varg's Tabletop Rpg Playing Ass
	Sitting On The Porch Of House Of Tinnitus, Sippin' On Texas Cold Brew With Texas Mike
	8/19/19; The Day Texas Mike Came Home
	Cool Beans Let Me Play Cannibal Corpse Over Their P.A.
	You Play In A Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About The Stupid Visuals You Have To Accompany Your Boring Music)
	Dune Is Better Than Star Wars
	The Butt Rock Song
	A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full Of Our Lord's Forgiveness
	Derik Can Only Harm You If You Know Of Him
	Mountain Dew Doesn't Make Your Dick Shrink, I Was Born With A Micropenis
	Taking A Mighty Push
	Maggot Stomp Got That Pit Viper Sponsorship And That's Too Cool To Rip On
	Writing Song Titles At 4:20 Am On Your Day Off Because You're On Some King Shit
	Hey 1919 Can I Have My Money Back?
	Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock
	If I Crank The Sharpness And Contrast On My Mediocre Live Concert Photography Everyone Will Love It
	Paying Any Amount Of Money For One Of Those Straight Edge Watches Is Fucking Stupid
	Getting Asked To Play More "Customer Friendly Music", So I Put Mortiis On
	Yes I Am An Admin On Metal Archives, And Yes I Talk To Women
	We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster
	Someone Once Called Me You Lord Of The Rings Lookin' Ass
	Noisecore Is A Better Genre For Straightedge Liberation Than Youth Crew
	Who Is This Mans Selling Pornogrind And Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes To Recycled And Not Me?
	Pubic Floss Is My Favorite Ska Band
	No Wait, Natural Man Is
	I Went To A Noise Show On 9/11 And All I Got Was A Dollar
	No You Don't Need A Gun
	Tomb Mold Is My New Favorite Hypebeast Streetwear Brand
	I'm Really Happy Seth Putnam Is Dead
	Its Still Hilarious Josh From Anal Cunt Died Falling Off An Escalator
	Tim Morse Got The Shit Kicked Out Of Him
	Punks Who Cosplay As Darby Crash In 2020 Are Fucking Stupid
	If I Gather All Of Dragon Ball Z On Vhs, Shenron Will Appear To Call Me A Nerd
	Derailed Train Full Of Decapitated Oogles
	Dumpster Diving For Forbidden Knowledge
	I Miss Oil Spill
	The Mullet That's Supposed To Save The World
	Rest In The Arms Of A Dragon
	Death Metal Was A Scam To Sell Longsleeve Shirts
	Gun Dudes That Can't Cum Unless Their Wife Named Cindy Is Holding A Glock 7 Gen 3 To Their Bald Spot
	Imagine Risking Exposure To Covid-19 To See A Soundcloud Rap Show
	Tanking The Success Of My Noise Rock Band By Coming Out In Favor Of Driver's Licenses
	The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo
	Oh God No, Not Another Song Sampling Peter Jackson's Dead Alive
	Your Pop Punk Has Breakdowns And Your Browser Is On A Watchlist
	None Of Your Gorram Business That I'm Writing A Rutting Noisecore Song About Firefly
	Firefly Lasted Longer Than I Do In Bed
	Don't Open The Docking Port, You'll Let The Oboe In!!!!!
	River Tam Will Kill You With Her Mind
	Vhs Collectors Are Chill Ass Bros
	The World Would Be A Better Place If Cookout Was A National Chain
	You Smell Like You Play In A Grindcore Band
	The Ballad Of The Egg Punk Demo Cassette
	Simps Pretend To Like Death Metal To Lay Pipe
	Your Band Has No Riffs
	You Play In A D-Beat Band
	Bodybag Darryl
	I Was Paid To Take Photos Of An E-Girl, Take That 4chan
	Average Time It Takes For People To Stop Caring About An Osdm Worship Band That Came Out On 20 Buck Spin
	I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 To See David Yow Pull Out His Penis, Not To Talk Bad About My President
	Amazing How White Drugs Was The Only Good Amrep Band
	Remembering When The Drummer Of Skeleton Asked Me If He Should Listen To Obituary
	We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes On 311
	Ah Yes, Jazz Fusion Covers Of Pokemon Route Themes
	Harsh Noise Wall Track Using My Scrapped Brake Shoes
	I Don't "Get" Noise Says The Person Who Likes 100 Gecs
	Playing Brainbombs At The Function To Weed Out The Weak Friends
	Everyone Is "We Love And Support You" Until You Threaten To Castrate Yourself With A Sword Your Friend Found In An Alleyway Next To A Car With A Broken In Windshield
	This Song Is Just An Excuse To Sample Firefly
	Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser
	"I Miss Going To Shows" Says The Sad Nerd Who Sat Outside During Every Band Smoking American Spirits
	If Your Band Sounds Like American Football, I'm Kicking Your Fucking Ass
	I Want To Fight People That Wear Suits In Public
	Listening To Shadow Gallery To Experience What Dream Theater Would Be Like If They Had A Bass Player
	Slint Is Just Korn But For Nerds
	Okay, But What If I Said I've Never Actually Read Lord Of The Rings
	Effortless Urination Of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee
	We're Destroying The Baby Right?
	The Darkest Magik
	Yautja Is The Funniest Band In Metal, And The Most Handsome
	Paying A Sex Worker To Just Cuddle Me, I'm Lonely
	My Fetish Is Watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini On Stage In At A Bar In Dallas, I Cum All The Time
	Assigned Cowboy At Birth
	All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master!
	Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts
	Ancient...Evil...And Hungry
	Wizard Metal By The Numbers
	A Harmless Giant From A Foreign Land
	Survival Of The Thiccest
	Sizzler Buffet For The Sexually Deranged
	Yer Gonna Feel My Boot
	Meat Mountain, Clogging Toilets And Arteries Everywhere
	The Eye Of The Shitstorm
	HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM
	Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence
	Looking At Your Dungeon Tan I Can Tell That You're A Fan Of Mortiis
	Yeah, I'd Get The Elf Ear Surgery
	Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
	When The Reply Guys Swarm In
	I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion's Dick In Cabin Fever 2
	You Play In An HM2-Core Band
	Onlyfans But It's Just Chalrles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass
	Thundersnow
	Rise And False Grind
	A Great Wizard, Ripping A Fat Bowl To Steely Dan
	Skinhead But Not By Choice
	Hanging Out At The Ren Faire With My Fellow Ugly LARPers
	Noisecore For The Instagram Clout
	Dark Highwayman, Encountered At Dusk Upon His Steed Named Sempai
	Remembering When Sawblade Threatened To Strangle Me When I Was 19
	Getting Fired From My Job As A DJ At A Bar For Playing The Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue On Breathing Problem
	I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One
	Using The Blood On The Eerified Catacomb Cassette To Make A Clone Of U.E. And Have My Own Pet Hypebeast Nekro Black Metal Machin
	Making Fun Of Other Bands To Hide My Rage That No One Likes My Band
	Smashing Your Head Into A Master Sword Replica After Laughing At How Stupid A New Infernal Legions Of Mordor Song Is
	Having Gorenoise Tapes From Breathing Problem Productions Delivered To My Job
	Are You Really Vibing Or Are You Just Giving Off Deadly Levels Of Ionizing Radiation?
	We All Have Mustaches Now
	Mute The Sword
	We're Tall, You Aren't
	Oh, Great, Another Band With Parker Lawson Doing Vocals
	Temporary Secretary By Paul McCartney Started Egg Punk
	We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals
	Matt, "Peavey", Perrin Has A Gun
	I Have A VHS Collection Instead Of A Personality
	Kinkshaming Someone For Listening To Brainbombs
	A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass
	Buzzword Death Metal
	Who Do I Have To Make Fun Of At The Dallas Observer To Finally Get Them To Notice Us?
	What Isn't Beneath Tom G. Warrior's Beanie
	Going To Tennessee To Finally Beat The Shit Out Of Thrashhard08
	Infertile Hails
	Avantasia Wrote A Power Ballad About Incest
	Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am
	How Quickly Will Any Of The Guest Performers On This Regret Being On This Tape?
	Giant Ass Sword
	The Only Way To Escape The Grip Of Longmont Potion Castle Is Death
	This Skullet Is A Poor Attempt To Cover This Red Neck
	Qui-Gon Epstein
	Deadbeat Disrocker Dad
	War Metal Gauntlet With A Rail Of Blow
	Who Is This Strange Man Who Entered My Keep With A Garment That Reads “RATLORD”
	Anal Cunt Song Titles That Unfortunately Live Rent Free In My Head
	Bald Larry Correcting Me About The Avantasia Incest Song
	Highest Regarded Opinions Of The Tech Death Guitar Player
	Black Metal Finsta
	Dr. Alican Koc
	Thank Fuck The Nerve In This Tooth Finally Died
	Consuming My Slain Enemy's Heart For His Courage, His Brain For His Intelligence, And Eating His Ass
	Getting Brain Juices All Over My Livestream Blood Incantation Shirt While Getting A COVID Test
	You Play In A Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band
	There Is A Box In The Back Of My Bedroom Closet With Dollar Signs Drawn All Over It With Nothing But Mark Winter Demos In It
	A Trashbag Full Of Blow To Be Delivered To The War Metal Band
	We're All Poseurs (Especially You)
	Allegiance Formed With Mountain Of Smoke In The Realms Of Meatcraft
	Dick Armor
	Fully Erect Alchemist
	Your Aluminum Guitar Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore
	My Ass Is A Furnace
	O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal
	You Listen To Discharge
	A Goblin Swinging A Sack Full Of Quarters
	Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence Is A Good Movie Telling Me That Hereditary Sucks
	Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan
	You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too)
	You Told Me 'Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour' But You Still Can't Write A Riff
	Getting Targeted Ads For The Thicc AT&T Girl
	Razor Girl From Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy
	If You’re Looking For Riffs In Contemporary Music And You Listen To Punk, I Have Bad News For You
	You Listen To Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too)
	I Got A Friend Request From The Guitarist Of Devourment
	You Listen To Opeth
	Hanging Out In The Alley Behind J&J's With A Bunch Of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening To Celtic Frost
	Crust Fund Kids Saying They "Don’t Even Like Money!" All The Way To Their Parent's Bank
	Having To Wear A Diaper When You Listen To Disembowelment Because You Keep Shitting Yourself
	Telling Pantera Fans The South Won't Rise Again
	My Wizard Hat, Taking To The Wind, Revealing My Bald Spot To The World
	I Have My Very Own Lime Scooter And A Sword, Fear My Whimsy
	Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles
	Derik The Hobbit
	Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape
	It Smells Like Loneliness In Here
	Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss
	If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are A Bad Person
	In Other News I Made A Noise Musician Mad On Twitter
	This Isn't An Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This
	The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You're Playing Cover Songs
	The Reviews Are In
	I Am A Late Game Boss That Is Hinted At For Two Thirds Of The Game That Has A Rare One Of One Loot Drop
	Matt "Peavey" Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored
	I Can't Believe Sleep Made A Career Off Of Ripping Off Sweet Leaf
	Fremen For Vengeance
	How Many Of Those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have To Buy?
	Being A Gatekeeper Fucking Rules
	Starving For A Thirst Trap
	Oh Good, The Blood Funnel
	At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth
	Selling My Punk Demos Before The Hype Dies Down And Getting Premium Prices On Discogs
	You Listen To Iced Earth
	Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life
	Fancy Delights Ov The Void
	Someone Stop Oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares
	Frozen Soul Weightlifting In Eternal Champion Merch
	The Eldritch And Horrifying Mating Calls Of The Denizens Of 'Dega
	The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, An EP And Only Played Fests
	For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE To Be THE Most Metal Person At this Estate Sale
	Watching The Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market
	Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title
	You Play A PRS
	Pounding Beers With The Goblin
	Christopher Lee If You Are Out There And Can Hear Me: Please Haunt Me
	Keep Your Mage Hand Strong
	No One Asked Steven Wilson For Those Remixes
	Hypnotized By ANTIFA Temptresses
	Deep Within The Eternal Chambers Of The Pizza Dungeon
	Unfriending Me On Facebook Won't Make Folk Punk Good
	I'm Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh
	Another Song To Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge By Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space
	Punk Goes...Country
	It's Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia
	Fear Is The Painkiller
	We're Available On I Heart Radio
	You Listen To Comfy Synth
	Asking The Owner Of Recycled Permission To (Continue To) Haunt Recycled When I Die
	Sick Caveman Riffs
	I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq
	Don't You Hate It When Assholes Break The Magickal Blood Seal
	I Spit On Your Graveland
	I Am Not Pausing Neil Young To Listen To This
	Givin' Them Ghosts A Show
	You Play In A Youth Crew Band
	True Black Metal
	Your Grandma Doesn't Need To Die Because You Couldn't Wait To See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault
	Are You Aware Of The Power Of Shadows?
	Keep Your Blade Held Aloft
	I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword
	Livin' La Vida Don Vito
	Cockblocked By A Self Proclaimed Shaman
	You're Bleeding And I'm Tired
	You Listen To 80's Yes
	We Are Three Hundred And Three Songs In, Take A Break, You've Earned It Weary Traveler, You Are Almost There.
	(Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin' Go
	Automatically Spawned With Blade In Hand
	Townie Punks Fuck Off
	Oh Man, Your True Crime And Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ?
	Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh
	Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks
	Wow, I Really Can't Believe You Have Listened To This Whole Fucking Thing. Whatever Sinks Your Ship
	Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime

Участники

Arranged By: Donovan Ford

Arranged By: Will Mecca

Artwork [Back Cover Collage]: Will Mecca

Bass [Most of the Time]: Rhys Johnson

Calligraphy, Illustration: Danni Parelman

Cover: Jayne Clark

Drum Programming, Arranged By: Die Fort Thy Engineer Ov Khaos

Lead Vocals [Unless Specified], Bass [Some of the Time], Performer [Sword]: Infernal Commander, Lord Würm

Photography By: Charles W. Knowles

Photography By: Will Mecca

Recorded By [155, 156 and about 40 others]: Donovan Ford

Recorded By [Bass and additional things]: Rubio Narcotico

Компании

: Cloudland Studios

Примечания

VHS re-release of the 2021 album, every track has an individual video clip curated from Lord Wurm's VHS collection. Same album save for track 311 which has the outro "chorus" cut. 15 Copies made. Note: some of the later songwriting credits are printed wrong in the booklet, these are per how they are listed on bandcamp. Additionally, due to error, [a=Sash Pozzie] is not credited in the booklet, these are again in line with the bandcamp. True Black Metal is a Traci Lords Loves Noise cover.

Другие версии

нет фото

2021 · США

Cassette, Альбом,...