Dirt

The genesis of the Mrtyu project itself comes mainly out of a year I spent in South Asia. I was fascinated by the Naga Sadhus of India and the deep dive they proclaim to undertake into what to Western eyes seems horror- smearing themselves in the ash of funeral pyres, drinking from skulls and eating human flesh. Confronting horror directly so as to- ideally- transcend it, but occasionally by all accounts becoming perpetuators of it. Up in the Himalayas, I duly undertook tourist tours of Tibetan monasteries, but rather than being wowed by giant golden Buddhas, I was far more interested in the grottos in the catacombs festooned with murals of demons and gore, where I was told certain monks undertook Buddhist rituals in reverse so as to 'balance the Universe'. Those ideas, building on a teenage interest in the 'occult', became the philosophical and aesthetic framework from which I felt able to explore a genuinely 'dark' and magical music. The music on “Dirt” was initially intended to be the soundtrack for a film that I - or at least 'Mrtyu' - had in mind to make back around 2010. I make the distinction because Mrtyu became very much an alter ego for me and in my day to day life I generally want to distance myself as much as possible from that kind of fucked up darkness, lest I get sucked so far into it that it becomes difficult to rise again 'to the light' as it were...but I'm still fascinated enough by it that every so often I will attempt a cautious dive. The thing is that one has to fully inhabit that space to really pull it off... The film, which was to be videoed using cheap burner style cell phones, was to follow the members of a tantric cult as they undertake a ritual; a fire is lit, the group smear their naked bodies with ash. They then proceed up into the forest, where they dig a grave by hand and cut and bury one of the members. It is left unresolved as to whether the member survives this process or not. The whole thing was intended to be extremely lo-fi and vague- and likely interminable to watch... I started to make enquiries with friends as to whether they knew people who might be OK with acting naked in something like this and was actually shocked by the degree of enthusiasm I encountered (- haha)! I bought some cheap phones and scouted locations. The closer I got to actually getting started, however, the more oppressive I started finding the actual headspace of the project. It would mean I'd have to inhabit the Mrtyu (other)reality for an extended duration and I wasn't sure I'd actually come out the other side the same person. Eventually, I decided that - for myself- it would be better not to proceed. The soundtrack, however, had already been recorded- in one long evening session on my cassette 4-track - Antony Milton Disc, insert and handmade covers in a plastic sleeve